Bleach Unified
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.


A Bleach RPG with a new plot. You can play as your favorite character, or make a custom one. Have fun!
 
HomeHome  SearchSearch  Latest imagesLatest images  RegisterRegister  Log in  

Welcome to Bleach Unified!

Log in
Username:
Password:
Log in automatically: 
:: I forgot my password
Important Links
Staff
Head Admin
Byakuya Kuchiki
Byakuya Kuchiki
______________
Admin
Soren
 
Marcos
 
Majeh
_____________
Moderators
Kuraiyami Hana
 
Vengeance
 
Lemmy
 
Orihime Inoue
Taken Canon Characters
Byakuya Kuchiki
Rukia Kuchiki
Renji Abarai
Neliel Tu Oderschvank
Urahara Kisuke
Rangiku Matsumoto
Orihime Inoue
Yoruichi Shihoin
Ichigo Kurosaki
Soifon
Ulquiorra Schiffer
Retsu Unohana
Shunsui Kyouraku
Shinji Hirako
Nemu Kurotsuchi
Aaroniero Arruruerie
Kenpachi Zaraki
Juushiro Ukitake
Momo Hinimori
Chizuru
Luppi
Kira Izuru
Shūhei Hisagi
Tia Hallibel
Tousen Kaname
Szayel Aporro Granz
Grimmjow
Nanao Ise
Affiliates
       
An all-anime Crossover RPRPG World
 
Bleach Untold Stories RP  
         
The Bleach Society Role-PlayRPG CircleRPG-DBleach: The Timeless WarRunes Of Magic
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Latest topics
» Cheap bags as a fashion symbol for women after financial crisis
Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) EmptyMon Jul 08, 2013 6:27 pm by milktea

» 6pm: Up to 65% OFF Shoes Fit for Every Size
Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) EmptySat Jun 08, 2013 6:21 pm by milktea

» How can I use dealam's Coupon Codes?
Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) EmptyThu May 23, 2013 6:48 pm by milktea

» How to Great Savings With Dealam Coupons and Coupon Codes Online?
Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) EmptyTue May 21, 2013 6:40 pm by milktea

» How to Get Amazon Discount Coupons from the search engine?
Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) EmptyMon May 20, 2013 6:44 pm by milktea

» Whether shopping online benefits you or not?
Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) EmptyFri May 17, 2013 6:38 pm by milktea

» How to shopping online for the purpose of Saving money?
Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) EmptyThu May 16, 2013 5:02 pm by milktea

» Shop online and do comparison shopping at Dealam online discount coupons
Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) EmptyWed May 15, 2013 5:35 pm by milktea

» Shopping Experience with coupons and Discount Codes
Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) EmptyTue May 14, 2013 3:49 pm by milktea

Top posters
Byakuya Kuchiki
Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Vote_lcapMarick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Voting_barMarick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Vote_rcap 
Lemmy
Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Vote_lcapMarick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Voting_barMarick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Vote_rcap 
Sairento Bakuhatsu
Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Vote_lcapMarick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Voting_barMarick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Vote_rcap 
Kensei Kontan
Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Vote_lcapMarick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Voting_barMarick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Vote_rcap 
Reina Hikari
Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Vote_lcapMarick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Voting_barMarick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Vote_rcap 
Kuraiyami Hana
Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Vote_lcapMarick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Voting_barMarick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Vote_rcap 
Soren
Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Vote_lcapMarick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Voting_barMarick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Vote_rcap 
Majeh
Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Vote_lcapMarick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Voting_barMarick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Vote_rcap 
Ayame Hikari
Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Vote_lcapMarick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Voting_barMarick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Vote_rcap 
Chris
Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Vote_lcapMarick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Voting_barMarick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Vote_rcap 
Credits
Forum© Forumotion.com.
Site Skin/Layout© Forumotion.com
Bleach©  Kubo Tite

 

 Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed)

Go down 
3 posters
AuthorMessage
Marik 13





Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Empty
PostSubject: Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed)   Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) EmptyTue Apr 13, 2010 6:47 am

Basic Character Info
Name: Marik Thirteen
Age: Unknown
Visual Age: Can\'t tell due to his body being covered in thousands of scars
Gender: Male
Ex-Division: Not even he remembers
Appearance: Marik\'s hair is long and blue with purple dark streaks in it that tie into a single ponytail that flows likewater in the wind. His eyes are greyed out as if he were blind, but faint silver irises can be seen behind the film on his eyes. Around his neck is a small locket with a black heart on it that has a skull inside the heart. His skin is riddled in scars like someone put him through a blender of blades and he survived, permanently marring his skin. His hands are long and rough like sand along with being thick and bulky giving him a strong appearance as his body is all around built the same.

He wears a cloak of silver that has several blood stains on it, while his legs are covered by a pair of silk pants along with his torso a silver silk shirt. At his side he wears his zanpakto which in its sealed state is a hand and a half bastard sword with a seven foot blade, which needless to say, he does not sheath. His feet are wrapped in bandages as opposed to shoes while he wears a pair of dark glasses to cover his eyes from the brighter days.
Personality:
His eyes seemed colder and seemed as though he had only dark intentions, but his body relaxed a bit as he seemed to have become where he smiled more around people. He is a dark man who loves to play mind games when he can. He tends to get annoyed as he never was much of one to ever take a joke that was directed to make fun of his own person.

Outside however he is colder and seemingly a different man. His appearance seems to age to be that of younger times as though the site of younger people makes his stance stronger and his eyes seem more inspired by others.Marik enjoys his wine and when drunk acts as though he were still but in his twenties, and does not seem to be easily angered, or even possible to anger.

Though through all this in battle he seems to have a alternate personality. His eyes change to a deep dark gold color as though his eyes had been cast from a mine of old times.His muscles tighten in remembrance of older times. In battle he is very tactical and his personality becomes cold and calm like ice had chilled his soul.


Background/RP Sample
Background: Marik\'s past is a mystery, as he claims to have few memories of it and barely even mentions the little details to himself. Marik claims to have woken up several years ago to a woman and a man watching over him, like he had been created, and he never forgot the looks on their faces, they were the only truely kind faces he had ever seen. The male claimed to go by the name of Grim, and the other, a woman of miraculous beauty, Dimentia. He lived with the people as they gathered a family of fourteen people as one great group of powers, but sadly it was not to be as they each went seperate ways, exept Marik stayed with Grim and Dimentia, the people he saw as his mother and father.

But that is skipping a bit. Marik trained with his family for the longest time as he found that each one was a spirit of some element, Dimentia was a Shinigami with the ultimate zanpaktou of Confusion for instance, and it wasn\'t until twenty years of training Marik learned that he was the controller of the sword of Pain, as even his reitsu hurt people, each of his steps like a sword to normal humans. After further training he managed to manifest his sword, a great bastard sword of enormous length, but because he was capable of controlling his reitsu he was capable of keeping his sword sealed. And soon after obtaining his zanpaktou, he learned how to use Shikai, for he and his Zanpaktou agreed on many things in truth, for both were like old men in how they acted despite that he obtained his blade so young.

Still young he met the next four of his siblings that came into the spirit world, Their names were Garrison, Kamelia, Larnenea, and Kirinoth. These were the masters of Steel, Nature, Light, and Darkness, the last being the most devious of the four.
Sadly, it was the fourth he was made to train with, to learn the ways of dark pain.While Kirinoth was his brother, he had a problem with him, as the man had no mercy to even start with, which was taught to Marik eventually. With the dark one he learned the powers of the dark and to be cold when striking an opponent.


Next to come where the masters of Wind, Earth, Lightning, and Ice. These in order where known as Roc, Erron, "Zack", and Altisa. He trained with Erron, to learn the solidity of the fighting of the Earth Element. He trained for six years without mercy, but he learned another thing from Earth, to stand ground and never let the enemy have an inch of ground on you, even if it was their ground.He also learned that despite the name of the Great Thirteen, Three more where still to be met by him, making it fourteen.

The last three appeared, the brothers of his father Grim were Water and Fire, while there was also his first son, Time. These where the ones that became known as Kamehameha, Sazenro, and Thigiliwt. He found out why these were the last he would meet as they would be the last three people he would train with. He began to learn from all his past expiriences and found this time was much different.

First he trained with Kamehameha, the Lord of Infernos. They trained together for another seventy some odd years training Marik how to activate his power to the great bankai of his blade. They trained day and night as Kamehameha never seemed to sleep for the fire within his soul kept him him moving with a constant Energy. Marik had the most difficulty learning from this one for he was carefree, he fought wildly in tactics, teaching Marikthat steady was not always the right choice in battle, he had to learn a new way of fighting. With this man he also learned that natural reitsu could be employed as another weapon, using it as a form of his own pain energy.

His next opponent was Lord of Watery Graves, Sazenro, the second strongest of the masters. This man acted the opposite of Kamehameha as he stood in place for all of the twelve years that Marik had to fight him, but all the while he only got a single shot off on the man. The goal of the training was to train Marik's skill with his Bankai and it certainly did, Marik did everything he could have thought of to hurt the man, but then he realized, that this was much more simple than he was making it to be. He found with this test that a simple solution is all that is required when given an impossible test.

The final master was Thigiliwt, the King of Immortals, the fourteenth. This man offered a very odd challenge, the only goal was to enter himself and find his "other self" as Thigiliwt called it. Well he found it, he found the most terrifying being he had ever met. He met his Inner Hollow, the being that would offer him his powers to Vaizard. He found that his inner form was much more violent, and much more capable with his blade than he himself was. He fought the hollow and found himself in a losing battle because of his panic against the powerful beast that seemed to control his inner world.

It was then that he found out that he had to remember his lessons from the other, and it forever changed him. In the fight his eyes cleared as he stared down the hollow and he began to fight back, changing his styles to be like Kamehameha and switching to the combined style to Erron and Kirinoth. He had the Hollow on the run as he laughed, he had learned that he had to block out his emotions to fight this man, and that's what he did, he became a super soldier to fight his Hollow. When he came to Thigiliwt was standing over him holding his Katana, as he explained to Marrik that in the real world he had gone into a rampage.

Marik now wanders the lands fighting any in his way in search of power. No one knows what happened to the masters, and no one knows why he is around. Some say he was the old Kenpachi of squad Eleven. Others say he was the very incarnation of Pain, but no one is really sure why. All that is known now is that he is a Rouge Vaizard that goes about doing as he pleases as if to study each side of his "game", he is currently deciding which side to team up with.



RP Sample: (Wishes to be a Rouge with Commander Level)


The smell of salt and the ocean filled the air as the wind blew about his frosty fiery hair as the earth froze beneath his feet and his cold dark eyes not even white within them began to chill all before him, The old arrancar was ready, he had no wish to be bossed around by some youngsters, nor did he wish to be considered weak compared to the others. So he did the unthinkable....he challenged the Primero Espada, a man that if he was not careful, could slaughter him. He looks at his falcon and nods* This may be my final run Blaine, do not be afraid... but I may need our powers this time...* Blaine nods as his glows in response to what the old arrancar had said, he understood full and well that they may both die for questioning the power of an Espada.

They got to a grand room devoid of color, it was nothing but white everywhere, the furniture, the cieling walls, the door, no windows, just a single being who stood in the center of the room. Harrigan Agelelic, the Primero Espada, an Espada who could control both light and darkness along with some mysterious other power. Harrigan stood at six feet tall and his crystal gray eyes bore into Eremitt with a kind stare. His hair was silver and touched his mid back in a ponytail as his ears were pierced with bars like cages across his ears, and his skin was baby smooth and tan like a man who had been to the beach just the right amount of time. His clothing was not the Espada uniform at the moment, it was a alternating black and white version of it and his pants were blue jeans, and of course only he was allowed to do this. His katana was on his back and it was longer than much, the blade itself was six feet in length ,the hilt without a guard and silver, while the blade itself was black.

Harrigan looked at the arrancar with a soft face*So you have come to challenge me....however much I would advise you against it, I must oblige to the rules, and you realize I will kill you if you cannot defeat me correct?* Eremitt nodded with a calm look in his eyes, Eremitt was one of the strongest not numbered Arrancar, but how would he fair against the great Primero Espada...* I have understood for months what can happen, and I have trained to fight you; whoever wins is truly the stronger man...* Eremitt Drew his sword as his Falcon dissapeared as the Primero held a hand straight out to his right but he smiled assuringly* I\'m afraid you are only half my current level....but fortunately we share the same aspect of death...* Eremitt\'s eyes widen as the man split in two as a shorter man with a scowl on his face seperated from Harrigan\'s body.

As they seperated both changed in appearance. Harrigan changed to having a solid white Espada robe and silky long white hair along with a six foot blade katana at his side made of pure gold, the other man however was the reverse of Harrigan, his clothing and his hair was black as for his katana, it was more like a dagger and his eyes were black and almost evil looking*Get this over with Angel I hate being out too long* the white one nods* I know Harrigan, I will try to finish this quickly, as now he and I are equal level...* Eremitt was confused, but he hid it, he did not understand why he would weaken himself*

The white one known as Agelelic stood before Eremitt drew his sword with a kind look upon his face and gave a look like there was no reason to talk anymore. Eremitt drew his black zanpaktou as the runes upon its blade glowed with power as his hair\'s braids began to float in the power of his reitsu while Agelelic\'s reitsu flooded the room in a light brighter than any Eremitt had ever seem, almost blinding him as Agelelic shined in the light. They walked to each other and bowed in respect for each other, for all four in the room knew one thing, someone was going to die....

Then it began

They clashed blades swiftly as they stared at each other dead in the eyes, both of their eyes telling each other their stories, of the pain, of the loneliness they were forced to suffer, of what will happen when one of them wins...They leaped back as Agelelic fired a glaring white bala from his hand at Eremitt, Eremitt evaded, but in doing so the Bala hit the ground and flashed brightly as Eremitt was blinded for a moment Agelelic ran foreward swiftly with his blade to swing at Eremitt\'s head Eremitt lifted his blade and fired a Cero from his mouth at the man blindly, but barely nicking him as he dodged with a flip more swiftly than any bird.

Eremitt stared down his opponent calmly, he had expected him to be more of a threat in this fight, but the man had barely even done anything. Eremitt charged at the man swinging with his single arm at Angel as Angel swung his sword with one arm, but launched a bala with his other at Eremitt\'s chest sending the old one flying back into a wall as the dark one smirks*Looks like mr. One Arm is at a bit of a disadvantage* Eremitt grunts at the dark one as he stands tall his chest slightly hinged, but not too badly damaged as he brushed himseld off.

The men ran at each other as they began to swing their swords rapidly at each other, parrying and blocking, no one seeming to get a single hit in as until Eremitt leaped and directed a spinning kick to Agelelic\'s stomache sending him into a wall as he staggered a moment then stood and smiled at Eremitt before opening his left hand and nodding as a white cero formed around his hand as he fired a cero in the shape of a hand at Eremitt pining Eremitt against a wall until he broke free of the reitsu hand and grunted, he didn\'t feel like he was being serious at all.

Eremitt stands up straight and puts his sword in the ground before looking at Angel who does the same*Your not taking me seriously, start fighting* Angel smiles and pats his own head and chuckles a bit*I really do hate fighting with my real powers, which I expect your the same, but then again you have something to prove being so old huh....Well lets start.* He smiles as he charges without his sword both hands glowing as he Eremitt smiles and his seven braids of hair suddenly spring to life and strike at the Primero with the seven blades that were attatched to their ends slashing Angel with three of them as he leaps back with a surprised look.

Angel smiles as he nods*Well looks like you have some interesting tools on the end of those braids....* Angle closes his eyes as he charges again but before Eremitt can react appears behind him in a sonido and punches him into the wall opposite them, Eremitt\'s back dealt a heavy bruise from the strike, but he stands back up as he looked at Angel*So that is your tactic....your no swordsman, you are a fist fighter...* Angel only smiles as he begins to walk towards Eremitt only to sonido once again to strike at Eremitt but only to be cut by the seven blades that sprang to life within the braids of Eremitt\'s hair.

Eremitt puts his hand to his left as it glows and the air goes cold about it*Like a frozen sky, Dark Dreamy Cero* He fires a cero of pure ice and salt battering Angel\'s face from point blank sending him flying back, yet he seemed relativaly undamaged as he stodd up and a sickening crack is let out as he popped his neck and grabbed his sword*Your better than I thought, but its about time we stopped this show....Like a dove that sings sweetly to the heavens,Requiem, Bright Nightengale* His sword dissapeared as twin wings of silver grew on his back and his hands gained leather gloves on them and a gun to his side as ornate dragon-like tattoos covered his skin and his fingers turned to be like claws along with his feet as his shoes ripped while his feet turned into talons.

Eremitt was amazed at the transformation for a moment but shook his head as he grabbed his own blade and began to glow a dark blue as his sword dissapeared a moment as the room chilled and seemed to grow darker as ice and water engulfed his body, his skin nearly all sucked away and his sword begins to form, the blade much like Harribel\'s, but longer and not as wide as runes appear on the blade.*I need no chant to summon my true form...*Eremitt nodded as he began to charge but was stopped short as a wall of light barred his pathe until Angel jumped through and struck into Eremitt\'s shoulder, but did not seem to cut as ice flew to his shoulder to block and Eremitt\'s skeletal face smiled and his ice then began to fill the room as water flowed out of his sword.

Angel let out bursts of light as it slashed the ice away from him, Angel was still calm as his other half just stood in the background watching. Angel pointed at Eremitt as a barrage of super thin cero like beams shot out at Eremitt as he attempted to use his ice to block it, but only managed to deter the beams, causeing him a significant amount of damage, but that would only go to be so much as the ice began to go into his wounds and repair his body as he looks at Angel and notices the wounds on Angel were healing as well*I see you and I both gain significant things from out powers.

Angel smiles as he begins to fly towards Eremitt, while Eremitt stands ready letting his water seep onto the floor around him waiting for the Primero to fall into his trap. Angel reaches Eremitt but is caught by ice as the water around Eremitt engulfs both of them trapping both of them in ice until Eremitt steps out of the ice and smiles as he leifts his hand and makes a grabbing gesture as the ice begins to squeeze Angel*If only it did not have to come to death....*Eremitt sighed and began to sigh that this opponent may not have been worthy.

Then it happened,Angel broke free. Angel\'s body grew feathers as his gloves turned into a chain with serrated blades all about it. his robes ripped as his body became that of a great bird beats leaving only the silver color of the feathers to indicate his once human traits*Hang your head low, Creeping Raven*He swung the chain as it caught fire and incinerated much of the ice much to Eremitt\'s horror Eremitt understood now what he was dealing with, he had to take this man serious now, never would he make such a mistake. Eremitt closed his eyes as his reitsu reached into the mind of Angel and caused him to see illusions of the world as Angel swung into the air as Harrigan just watched, also seeing these visions. Eremitt nods as he goes behind the man and attacks, but Angel blocks and smiles through his now twisted face staring at Eremitt with soft eyes*I am not so easily fooled*

Eremitt leaped back as Angel swung his chain at him while Eremitt let loose a barrage of icy orbs at his opponent that stuck to him and grew as time went on. After five minutes Angel was on the ground as the weight of the ice stuck him to the ground and Eremitt walked to the now defenseless angel*If only it did not have to end like this....*He made the ice spike through Angel as he and Harrigan began to fade away into nothingness*Goodbye Agelelic.....Primero Espada....


Zanpakuto Information
Name: Bloody Pathrazor
Release Phrase: For the beauty of it all, Bleed, Bloody Pathrazor
Element/Family: Pain(Reitsu and Nerve Based)
Manifestation: Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Pain2
Sealed Zanpakuto: The hilt is a hand and a half gold and black iron hilt, the blade is seven feet long and sits at his side without a sheath or anything else to cover it, tied to his side with a rope.
Shikai: Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Weapon_anime
Shikai Ability:Supreme Reitsu-During this state, the user's reitsu charges to such an extent the user is capable of controlling their reitsu in any way they want, Because Marik's reitsu is so powerful it brings pain to anyone it touches, sadly this also effects his allies as well. This pain can be described as a fire crawling all over a person's skin. This Reitsu can be felt 200 yards away in all directions.
Super Power-This character gains super Strength Speed and Reflexes of an inhuman scale.
[Bankai applies only for Captains, Advanced Vice Captains and Elite Vaizards]
Bankai: The blade transforms into a black spear capable of changing into any weapon and changing its size at the users will
Bankai Ability: Steps of Burden-Each step this character takes causes pain to all enemies and any damage dealt to Marik is reflected evenly among all his enemies. The damage he can reflect only applies to Reitsu based skills, other wise if someone uses a physical skill on them it does half that damage back to the person who dealt it. The Steps of Pain only work for ten steps, and feel like boulders crushing the opponent, and these steps can be seperated by intervals, these steps recharge after seven turns after the seventh step is taken.

Terrifying Reitsu-Marik's Steps of Burden can be felt 400 yards in every direction same for his Reitsu reflect skill, but if they are beyond 300 yards, it does not affect them. This reitsu is a silver color and can fall like dust as it takes that form. Normal Humans are unnaffected other than a feeling of Paranoi spreads over the area.

Blood of the Master-If this characters blood gets on his opponent, they become inflicted with a pain that feels like having each of their limbs stabbed with a burning poison that spreads through their veins, this pain cannot be ignored and Marik may not kill someone under this influence. This Effect lasts for two posts and ends if the User can manage to find fire to burn the blood off their body.

Hollow Mask
Name: Crimak
Manifestation: Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Demon
Ability:

Reitsu Sucker-Capable of absorbing any Reitsu that comes near him and transforming it to adapt to his own powers. This does not go to affect any power above a level 66 kidou. This power can be used to re absorb his own reitsu to stop his reitsu from affecting his allies. This cannot be from a distance and requires physical contact with the power or person.

Touch of Pain-This allows the user to whenever he touches an opponent send them into a pain like fire that surges through their entire body for six posts, durning this time Marik cannot kill that opponent as he lets them suffer. On the fifth post they are in a pain that feels like nails getting shoved into their skin.


Telekinesis-This Telekinesis allows him to lift any non living object and himself as though it were light as a feather with his mind. During this time his eyes glow silver and the objects he is moving glow grey as he does this. He can moves things in a range of up to three hundred yards
Hollow Mask Appearance: Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Hollow_Mask_by_Suiji
Duration/Cooldown: 8 Turns of use, 10 turn cooldown.

Techniques
Name: Reitsu of Pain
State: Constant
Description: This is a constant power of Marik that makes his reitsu like swords to his opponents
Duration and/or cooldown:Constant


Last edited by Marik 13 on Wed Apr 14, 2010 5:00 am; edited 9 times in total
Back to top Go down
Byakuya Kuchiki
Captain of the Sixth Division
Byakuya Kuchiki



Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed)   Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) EmptyTue Apr 13, 2010 6:56 am

If he wants to have commander level he'll need a larger bio.
Back to top Go down
https://bleach-unified.rpg-board.net
Marik 13





Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed)   Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) EmptyTue Apr 13, 2010 6:57 am

Thats why it is WIP, he will have 10 paras on his bio when I am done
Back to top Go down
Byakuya Kuchiki
Captain of the Sixth Division
Byakuya Kuchiki



Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed)   Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) EmptyTue Apr 13, 2010 9:46 am

Approved
Back to top Go down
https://bleach-unified.rpg-board.net
Chris
Captain of the First Division
Chris



Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed)   Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) EmptyTue Apr 13, 2010 12:02 pm

Unapproved.

Quote :
Supreme Reitsu-During this state, the user's reitsu charges to such an extent the user is capable of controlling their reitsu in any way they want, Because Marik's reitsu is so powerful it brings pain to anyone it touches

You can not automatically brain pain to anyone it touches, You need to scale it down a bit.

Quote :
Steps of Burden-Each step this character takes causes pain to all enemies and any damage dealt to Marik is reflected evenly among all his enemies

This is severely overpowered, You need to make it more fair. Examples could be, It only works for a certain amount of steps. Along side that it only reflects damage from Reiatsu based moves, and on a lower scale, like Reflect from Final Fantasy. Try to experiment with those things before you reapp.

Quote :
Terrifying Reitsu-Marik's Reitsu becomes so powerful in this state that it is capable of being felt throughout an entire City.

Erm...No, not even Aizen's Reiatsu could be felt throughout an entire city, and even if it could be, not a massive city. be a bit more descriptive, try to explain the color, if normal people can feel it, or the size of the city.

Quote :
Blood of the Master-If this characters blood gets on his opponent, they become inflicted with a pain that never stops until the battle ends.

You need to make a limit for this man it can not just hurt till the end of battle, Not only that people will whine and complain about it doing that or flat out ignore the pain, along side that it needs to be described better.

Quote :
Reitsu Sucker-Capable of absorbing any Reitsu that comes near him and transforming it to adapt to his own powers.

Erm. . . . . Overpowered, Being able to absorb any reiatsu that comes near him can be abused to the point of absorbing Hado 93. or Bakudo 99. You need to place a limit on the reiatsu and a limit to how much it helps you out. Be more Descriptive!

Quote :
Touch of Pain-This allows the user to whenever he touches an opponent send them into a reeling amount of pain till the battle ends.

See Blood of the Master.

Quote :
Telekinesis

.........DESCRIBE WHAT IT DOES D: HOW POWERFUL IT IS! x.x Every Telekinesis is different with a vizard..

Yeah...Thats that then.
Back to top Go down
https://server3.kproxy.com/servlet/redirect.srv/sruj/snocracxizn
Marik 13





Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed)   Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) EmptyTue Apr 13, 2010 12:33 pm

Supreme Reitsu-During this state, the user's reitsu charges to such an extent the user is capable of controlling their reitsu in any way they want, Because Marik's reitsu is so powerful it brings pain to anyone it touches, sadly this also effects his allies as well. This pain can be described as a fire crawling all over a person's skin. This Reitsu can be felt 200 yards away in all directions.

Steps of Burden-Each step this character takes causes pain to all enemies and any damage dealt to Marik is reflected evenly among all his enemies. The damage he can reflect only applies to Reitsu based skills, other wise if someone uses a physical skill on them it does half that damage back to the person who dealt it. The Steps of Pain only work for ten steps, and feel like boulders crushing the opponent, and these steps can be seperated by intervals, these steps recharge after seven turns after the seventh step is taken.

Terrifying Reitsu-Marik's Steps of Burden can be felt 400 yards in every direction same for his Reitsu reflect skill, but if they are beyond 300 yards, it does not affect them. This reitsu is a silver color and can fall like dust as it takes that form. Normal Humans are unnaffected other than a feeling of Paranoi spreads over the area.

Blood of the Master-If this characters blood gets on his opponent, they become inflicted with a pain that feels like having each of their limbs stabbed with a burning poison that spreads through their veins, this pain cannot be ignored and Marik may not kill someone under this influence. This Effect lasts for two posts and ends if the User can manage to find fire to burn the blood off their body.

Reitsu Sucker-Capable of absorbing any Reitsu that comes near him and transforming it to adapt to his own powers. This does not go to affect any power above a level 66 kidou. This power can be used to re absorb his own reitsu to stop his reitsu from affecting his allies. This cannot be from a distance and requires physical contact with the power or person.

Touch of Pain-This allows the user to whenever he touches an opponent send them into a pain like fire that surges through their entire body for six posts, durning this time Marik cannot kill that opponent as he lets them suffer. On the fifth post they are in a pain that feels like nails getting shoved into their skin.


Telekinesis-This Telekinesis allows him to lift any non living object and himself as though it were light as a feather with his mind. During this time his eyes glow silver and the objects he is moving glow grey as he does this. He can moves things in a range of up to three hundred yards.
Back to top Go down
Marik 13





Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed)   Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) EmptyWed Apr 14, 2010 7:54 am

*bump* XD
Back to top Go down
Byakuya Kuchiki
Captain of the Sixth Division
Byakuya Kuchiki



Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed)   Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) EmptyWed Apr 14, 2010 9:40 am

I think it looks good. Approved
Back to top Go down
https://bleach-unified.rpg-board.net
Sponsored content





Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed)   Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed) Empty

Back to top Go down
 
Marick Thirteen, Rouge of Pain(Completed)
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Night of Pain
» The Little Dude. [Completed]
» Reaper (Rouge Commander)
» Ankoku Boukon (Completed)
» Character: Rouge (Arrancar)

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Bleach Unified :: Creation Area :: Character Applications :: Approved Custom Characters-
Jump to: