Lonely road [open]

The dirt kicked up in small puffs as Yuki walked down a deserted street in Rukongai, a heavy air surrounding her. This road had been the same one she had walked along on her long trek to Seireitei so many, many years ago. She hadn't been here for so long, as though her subconscious had made her avoid this place. The memories it brought were so incredibly hurtful and for the first time in years Yuki felt overwhelmed by the memories of hurt, rejection and loneliness which she had guarded so carefully. This one road had been the catalyst to her whole personality, it had shaped her into the person she was today and she didn't know whether to be grateful or to curse and hate it. Because of it she was now as cold as the ice that she weilds, though for some reason lately she had been feeling her ice start to melt ever so slightly as her position in the Gotei 13 was forcing her into unfamiliar and new situations, such as social situations.

Never would she admit it to anyone lest she be seen as weak, but she was incredibly lonely and her vulnerable heart incased and protected by solid walls yearned for a friend, companion, associate, whatever to try and lessen the loneliness pressing down on her soul. The only problem was that anybody who tried to get close to her was pushed away. She sighed as she looked at the road again. How could one thing hold so much sway over someone's life? I'll just stay here for a little longer, she thought as she went to the side of the road and slowly sank down into a sitting position under the shade of a tree which protected her from the harsh, unrelenting sun that was currently out.She could't stay for too long because she had duties that needed to be taken care of, but for once she decided to take a break from it all, even if it was for just a few minutes.

Rukia hadn't been back to the streets outside of the walls in such a long time. She hadn't wanted to remind herself where she had come from, so many memories had been here.. so much pain, and loss. And yet this was where Renji and her had become good friends, and this is where she had...

She slowed when she sensed a presence up ahead of her... It was a captain, the captain of the 10th division.

"Taicho?" Rukia said noting the captain sitting under the near tree obviously in distress from the heat... She offered her canteen, "Taicho, please have a drink, you look like you could use one.."

Yuki looked up at lieutenant of the 13th division with gratitude, hastily wiping away any of the feelings she felt from showing on her face. She accepted the canteen and talk a small sip, not wanting to take more than was necessary from the kind girl.

"Thank you, I guess heat and I don't go well together." She tried to lighten the mood a bit, but the weight of her memories still pressing down on her mind told her that she probably failed at it.

"Hai, the heat in these streets is well known... I myself grew up around here so I know my way around... May I ask what has you so troubled, taicho? Not many people walk around an area as poor as this without cause..."

Rukia watched the captain, she was concerned with her color and debated calling for a 4th squad member to have a more thorough look at the captain. she squinted her eyes at this, trying to determine what to do.

Yuki stared ahead into the distance, not really looking at anything.

"I stayed her once, many years back, but I didn't stay too long. I guess being here just brings back some memories that I wanted to forget, that's all." Yuki turned her head towards the lieutenant, her brow furrowed in thought.

"I thought you were a Kuchiki, why did you live in such a poor place?" The nobles usually like to keep tight-lipped on any subject related to their families, so Yuki didn't really know anything about the Kuchiki family - though it would be weird for Byakuya to let his sister live in a place like this.

Rukia chuckled slightly at her words, she thought everyone had known about her...

"I was not always a Kuchiki, I was adopted into the family by Nii-sama while I was still in the Academy. I grew up here with Renji," she smiled at this, "We always were together..."

Rukia kept silent about the details, those that only the Kuchiki family knew about... those concerning her sister and her relationship to Byakuya-sama... She looked back at the captain, "This place holds many memories for myself as well... Not all of them being good, but I still have memories I wouldn't want to ever forget... Surely you have some of those as well, taicho?" Rukia looked in the direction Yuki-san was gazing, trying to figure out what she was looking at.

[OOC: Managed to steal my sister's computer haha! (I'm so evil) Wow, that was completely random Also on an even more of a side note do you speak Japanese?]

Yuki brought her eyes round to look at Rukia. She hadn't known that she hadn't always been a Kuchiki, but in the end it didn't really make much different because it didn't change who she was. She saw the other girl smile and figured that she must have liked living here, with her friend, even though the conditions were so poor. I wish I could say the same...

"Well, I definitely have memories I wouldn't want to forget - it would almost be like forgetting myself - but in saying that none of the memories are very good. I had a... hard time in Rukongai, and I'm just glad I made it to Seireitei just so I could leave. It isn't a bad place, I'm sure, but it wasn't very friendly towards little children who didn't know where they were going or where they had come from. It also didn't help that said child was different in that they needed to eat to survive." Yuki sighed as she continued to look at Rukia, who was still standing up and looking at her.

"Would you like sit Rukia-san?" She indicated a patch of grass next to her.

OOC:

LOL stealing your sister's computer = awesome..... I usually have to steal mine back from my sister hehe... I'm currently learning how to speak Japanese, still working in the syllibaries hehe and I watch Bleach in Japanese with subtitles.

END OOC

"Thank you, captain..." Rukia sat next to Yuki-san. "Yes this was probably not the place I would have chosen to grow up, and I was able to leave by joining the academy as well... They were in such of awe of shinigami, but as soon as someone showed up that became hungry they shunned you."

Rukia sighed as she looked away.

"But I had no idea you had been in the this district... how long ago where you here? It would have been interesting if we had been here around the same time..."

She looked at the captain again, waiting for her response.

(OOC: Well I'm lucky my sister doesn't need her computer - she just recently got herself a laptop and uses that all the time [seriously how long can one person look at such a small screen?] I asked about you knowing Japanese 'cause I'm learning Japanese too! And I watch Bleach [among other animes] with subtitles - can't remember the last time I watched a dubbed anime.)

It was obvious that Rukia understood the plight of a spiritually aware person in the poorer districts of Rukongai, having experienced it herself.

"Well, I was in this district about... maybe close to 50 years ago? I can't remember because I traveled a lot, I actually walked from the 67th district, and I only stayed a few weeks to a month at most in any one district. It would have been interesting to have been here at the same time, even if we didn't know each other. When did you leave the district to join the academy?"

"It's been close to 100 years for me... And yet it sometimes feels shorter than that... It would explain why I didn't know of you..."

Rukia looked towards where the academy stood. And then back towards the hill where she had made the decision to join... to leave her friends who buried there... To walk forward...

"I can still remember the day I chose to leave this place... It was a leap, but worth it. I'm glad I was able to leave, I just wish that all of my friends could have come with me... I was thinking of visiting their graves today, which is why I came out..."

Her eyes narrowed in sadness as she tried desperately not to cry.

Yuki smiled slightly to herself at the memories of this place, but she felt guilty for taking up the other shinigami's time when she had somewhere important she needed to be, if not just for her own emotional wellbeing.

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't realise. I shouldn't keep you from visiting them."

She saw that Rukia looked on the verge of tears, though trying not to cry. She wasn't good with these kind of situations and felt a bit awkward but felt she should try to say something to comfort her considering how nice she had been to her.

"It's hard losing those you care about, but if you always have them with you, in your heart, then it's like they did come with you. It would have been nice for them to be with you physically, but their memory lives on in spirit through you." Yuki didn't know how effective her words would be in cheering Rukia up, but she hoped it helped even just a little.

Rukia gave a slight smile to the captain, her words soothing the ache in heart.

"I had been planning on it, but now I don't think I can go up there... I still have regret for not being able to protect them better... Did you have any plans for your walk here?"


Rukia quietly watched the captain.

"Not really; I just needed to get out of the office and I just walked. I wasn't even thinking about a destination, preferring to just clear my mind." Yuki sighed softly.

"I think you should still visit your friends; you can't live with regrets. Forgive yourself and move on - I'm sure that's what they would have wanted, because if they were good friends - which I can tell they probably were - than they wouldn't want you to live your life with such a heavy emotion such as regret."

Yuki stood up, dusting the dirt off the back of her pants where she had just been sitting. She knew that it might be hard to confront such strong feelings as Rukia had, so she would be there if she needed help, and even come with her to visit her friends if that helped - though she wouldn't impose on something that would most probably be private. One part of her mind, however, couldn't help but feel happy that she was slightly taller than the other shinigami.

"You shouldn't dwell on what has happened, just on what will happen. Walk forward and tomorrow will be a brighter day, I can promise that." She waited for whatever Rukia would say in reply.

"If you didn't have any plans, would you take a walk with me? I think I will go visit them... It would be nice to have some company, If you wouldn't mind..."

She wouldn't normally ask for someone to be with her, but with her history of being in the poor districts she thought it would do the both of them good.

"I will try to not dwell on the past, but you should also take your own advice, taicho... You seem sad." Rukia said with concern in her voice.

Rukia waited for the captain to respond before starting the walk to the hill.

"I would love to take a walk with Rukia, and I don't mind in the least." Yuki was glad that Rukia had indeed decided to go visit her friends, it meant she was already trying to take the small steps forward. And Yuki would be there along the walk to help her. However, Rukia's next comment hit home a lot harder than she would like to admit.

"You're right, I should take my own advice, but as you already know it's a hard journey of self-forgiveness." She smiled softly to herself; a bittersweet smile.

"Lead the way Rukia-san."

"Lead the way Rukia-san."

Rukia smiled at the captain, and slowly started to make her way towards the grave site, trying to enjoy the slow breeze that lazily made it's way through the town. She was happy the captain had decided to come with her, and wanted to say as much to her, but she was having trying to find the words...

She attempted several times, and finally she spoke aloud. Turning as she spoke, "Captain, I want you to know that I'm very happy you agreed to come along... I had planned to do it alone, but with company it feels much easier..." Rukia watched Yuki's face as she whispered the next words, "Maybe I could be of help to you as well..."

There was silence between the two as they walked, though it was a comfortable and companionable silence and not in the least bit awkward. Yuki noticed as Rukia kept trying to say something but not saying it, but finally looking at the captain she mustered up whatever she had been looking for to say it. Yuki listened and her features softened by the caring words.

"It was my pleasure Rukia-san. I agree that with company somebody standing there as a support - it is much easier to conquer doubts and fears." The next words by Rukia were whispered and so Yuki almost missed them, but her keen ears managed to pick them up out of the light breeze. She didn't know how to respond to it, but figured being truthful would be the best thing - she very much liked Rukia.

"I don't know what you could do to help my problem - it's just who I am to naturally push people away from me, but I very much appreciate the offer because it shows me that if - no when I'm ready there are people there that care enough to want to help."

"Someone recently helped me through a rough time, I just want to be able to pass that along... It is hard taking the first step, but it seems to be getting easier as I move forward..."

Rukia slowed as they neared the graves. "These are my friends, captain, I am sure they honored by your presence..." She knelt down, gently clearing the leaves from the mounds of earth where her friends lay. She enjoyed the feeling of the damp earth in her hands, and tried in vain to remember the last time it had rained... the ground seemed very moist for the time of day. She worked quietly, not expecting the captain to help, but working through her own grief as continued to tidy the area.

Yuki nodded at her words and then watched as they reached the grave site where Rukia knelt down to clear away any leaves which had fallen across the mounds of earth.

"No Rukia, I'm honoured that you would allow me to come with you to see them, I know how important this is to you." Carefully, so as not to disrupt any of the dirt, Yuki knelt down on her knees at a respectful distance to give Rukia some space, and started to help clear away the fallen leaves and any stick which may have found its way onto the ground.

She smiled as she saw the captain give her assistance to help with the graves. After they were clear she moved to sit not caring if her robes became wet from the ground. Happy to spend time with her friends.

"Thank you for helping, you don't have to stay anymore if you don't want..." She stared in the distance, feeling somber.

Yuki remained crouched after all the leaves were cleared, watching Rukia who in turn was staring at the graves in sadness. She felt proud of the lieutenant, and a small genuine smile touched her lips as she stood up, knowing that it was time for her leave so that Rukia would be able to properly pay her respects to the dead.

"Arigato Rukia-san. I have some paperwork I need to finish so I'll be off, but remember that if you ever want to talk or anything than you're always welcome to drop by my office."

"Thank you, thank you very much..." Rukia didn't say more as she was engrossed in her thoughts...